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I Love You, But I Don't Have to Like You

Now that thanksgiving has passed, food has digested, hangovers are dissipating and family members are finally gone. The more I exchange stories with friends, I begin to see similarities amongst them; not everyone likes their extended family. In my immediate family we have a saying in regards to our extended family (consisting of one person) "she's our family, we have to love her, but we don't have to like her". It's words we live by. What code did we sign at the pearly gates before we floated on down here that said 'no matter what family members do we have to like them'? Because I would like to formally retract my signature. There comes an age that you stop seeing family members as untouchable totems of power and see them as humans. Humans that make mistakes, that don't know what they're doing most of the time and humans that make wrong life choices. The more I have talked to others, the more I've realized its a commonality. Everyone seems to have a too loud of an aunt, an uncle who thinks he knows everything about cooking even though he thinks 'basting' is a baseball term and a grandpa who spits out racial comments like a very unpopular vending machine. They are our flesh and blood...but the kind that's been left out in the sun too long. We are obligated to smile and nod as they drone on about how 'Ebola isn't a disease, it's actually a popular form of yoga', but we aren't obligated to agree with them or help them set up their "Ebola Yoga" fan page on Facebook. If they weren't related to us, we would never be friends with the loud guy at the party who only talks about how his left foot looks like veal schnitzel. These family traits are amplified when everyone is put into one room and maybe that's why it aggravates us so much. Seeing them up close and personal showcases family traits that have the potential to sneak their way out in your lifetime. Who knows, out of the blue you could be enjoying your morning coffee and the next second you look down and realize your foot is the equivalent of a German delicious meat dinner. But isn't that everyone's fear? That we will pick up traits that we despise just through osmosis? I think this is a rational fear in all varying degrees, but it can also be a gentle reminder that no matter how dysfunctional your family is; they're family. In a pinch they will most likely help you bring your car in for an oil change or allow you to let off steam about another family member. No matter how nerve grinding they can be, they are your dysfunctional family, no one else's. We all have family members that show us what not to do in life and for that we can be grateful for. And we can also be grateful for wine....lots and lots of wine. So fill your glass, grit your teeth and begin the countdown until the last door closes. You made it through another year and look on the bright side, you have 72 days to prepare for Christmas! Get the wine uncorked now. Cheers! And good luck! Brianna

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