Expectations: they are the bane of my existence. It wasn't until recently when I had read an article stating that it is the #1 relationship killer, I hadn't given it much thought. I read the article and then moved on with my scrolling through the copious amounts of improv show event invites, memes and attempted witty comments on my Facebook. It wasn't until days later when I realized that my life revolved around expectations. Most of my frustrations are rooted from missed expectations - which include expectations that people -including myself- didn't even know I put on them.
Even as I'm writing this I've realized I expected myself to write an entry on my blog every month and I'm disappointed in myself that I haven't. Earlier today I watched a live seminar. At the end of it, it was an open forum where people could ask the professor questions. I, of course, asked a question, and then was immediately disappointed by her answer. I then realized I had expected a certain response from her. Why did I need to ask the question in the first place when I clearly had a formulated answer already worked out in my head?
I've realized I expect a lot from myself, other people, social media and even down to my laptop - I expect it to work and not delete important files! [even though I was the one to delete them accidentally in the first place]. I expect my body to work like a normal 24-year-old body and not dislocate my thumb because I opened the patio door too quickly. I expect my dog to listen to me when I'm speaking to her and not walk away mid-sentence. I expect people to know what I'm thinking/feeling without me having to say it.
Now, I know I'm not alone in this- be honest, we expect insane things from other people and especially from ourselves. Expectations are cruel, mostly unachievable and will ultimately end in disappointment. Take a minute and think of everything you've put an expectation on in the last 5 minutes. Did you expect your friend to text you back right away? Did you expect them to answer a different way or understand your feminist joke? Did you expect dinner to be ready at 5 instead of 6? Did you expect yourself to spend 60 minutes at the gym every day this week?
In my experience, expectations are the product of our ideal selves or situations. Of course, I will expect myself to workout every day, will I? I'd say 99% of the time no. But I think it's time to lighten up on ourselves and especially on others. We are not perfect nor is anyone else. Now is the time to hang up your expectations hat (it was too big for you anyways) and start looking at every situation as an individual. Take things as they come and do not expect things from people without them knowing- most will never live up to the daydream you've just cooked up.
This won't be instant, but it is a change of thinking that I am willing to make; a change I need to make. So, go out, be free, and expect nothing!
P.S. But I expect at least 25 likes on this post.
